Thursday, July 21, 2011

In Love with Life

I'm sitting down to write for the first time is a bit, and the way I feel now is about a million miles from how I've ever ever felt before. Not to be completely dramatic...and...holy shit!

I am absolutely, for sure, unbelievably, happier than I have ever my life.

It's like I have spent the past few years...many years, preparing myself for what is happening now. And I believe that I am as ready as I will ever be.

What has happened is that I am in LOVE. I don't mean to sound cheesy, because there is absolutely nothing cheesy about the way I feel, or the man I fell in love with, or anything about our relationship. And at the same time, it's waaay cheesy. The things we say to each other, the things we do for each other- sheesh.

And believe it or not...we met online.

About 7 weeks ago I came to the conclusion that relationship is actually really important to me, and I want to be in one-a good one. My therapist encouraged me to join some online sites and for the first time, I actually did it- wholeheartedly. I went on a number of mediocre dates. They were always coffee dates in my neighborhood. He had to live close by. The guys were always under 5' 10". I even went to a speed dating event.

And then this man and I got connected through ok cupid- a free site. He invited me for hike in Santa Monica where he lives. He was 6' 1". For some reason I said yes. When I saw him walking towards me on the street where we first met, I immediately decided that he wouldn't be into me because he was so tall. He was a "man", not a boy. I was wearing these camo yoga pants and I had my dreadlocks in pony tails. I was just being myself.

The hike was fun. perfect. We got along very well. I felt no pressure because I figured there was no way he would be interested, which really put me at ease. He invited me to dinner after the hike and I said yes. I got a little feeing of excitement in my chest. When we were sitting at the restaurant, looking at the menu to decide what to get to go, his leg was touching mine. That was the first moment I thought that maybe he liked me. That was also the first moment that I connected with the fact that I liked him.

It didn't take long after that that we were in his apartment. We spent the entire night awake= talking, kissing, watching funny youtube videos, talking, kissing. It was amazing.

Then I went away for the weekend- which was absolutely perfect. When I got back from that trip we ended up spending the following week together. Then I went away again for two weeks- though I came home to see him for two days in the middle.

It was all perfect. It is all perfect. Being with him gives me access to all the best parts of myself, and sheds a gentle light on the challenging parts. I am so absolutely grateful to him, to whatever greater source exists that is looking out for me, and for him, and to every experience I have had that has prepared me for this experience. I am extremely grateful to all of the previous teachers I have had who have led me to the exact spot I am in today. I am so utterly happy, joyous, and excited for every next moment, every joy, every challenge that awaits.

1 comment:

Chris Paris said...

Savrah, that's awesome! :) I hope you guys are still having a blast! But even if not, I'm glad you did for that time, it sounds great.